The vet rang on Wednesday with Fluffy's blood results. I had now been thinking anaemia, maybe, diabetes at worst? He said that her thyroid levels are now normal, so the new drug, Vidalta, has worked there. But her urea levels are sky high. Normal reading would be 10; in October hers was 20. Now it's 63. He said he was very surprised she is doing as well as she is with levels that high; usually, he said, when it is in the 30s they are giving up.....

He says this means that Fluffy's kidneys are shutting down. He thinks that the thyroid drug isn't being matabolised, i.e., it isn't being cleared out of her system. Perhaps, he said, perhaps if we leave off that drug for a little while, it will clear from her system and the urea will go down. So the plan last Wednesday was this: withdraw drugs and wait to see an improvement. If there is one, then we know that the high urea levels were only because of the drug in her system. If there isn't one, then her kidneys really are barely functioning.

Well, last weekend we started feeding her a super-palatable special food called Hills A/D and she loved it! Yum yum yum, we started to call it her licky-mush. More licky-mush? Yum yum.

By Monday it was becoming more difficult to get her to eat. Maybe she is just going off it, I thought. I started to heat it a little. She ate it.

The wobbly back legs recovered, which gave us hope. And I think you were all right about the meowing round the litter box- I think it used to hurt, so she was scared it would again, hence the continued crying. This still happens, but not for a as long.

But.....

I have been up through the night with her. She is refusing all food and I have to encourage her to drink her water. She gave up washing herself days ago; I am doing it with a warm, wet flannel. In the night, for a little while, her back legs went floppy and she seemed to have trouble lifting her head. It was flopped down and leaning to one side.

I stayed with her by the fire and got her to settle on my tummy for a while, with a blanket.

Now she is in her box with a hot water bottle. She has had a drink but refuses food. Maybe I should try to give her some with a syringe into the side of the mouth? But I do think i may be putting off the inevitable now........

I fear this is her last weekend, poor sweet girl....... she is a shadow of her former self. This isn't fair any more. I think if she were human she'd be on dialysis right now. I think she is feeling sick and yuck.....I feel so guilty to approach giving up stage, but I love her, and she trusts me, and part of that has to be being able to say, no more, that's enough now, no more.....

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